Breakfast at Tiffany's – Because I Do Not Know

Treason and threesomes

This missive from Camp No-Shit: Jane Fonda says posing on a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft battery was a betrayal to her country.

On a lighter note, in the '60s, Hanoi Jane participated in several menage a trois with her then-husband and various hookers. This shouldn't be much of a surprise considering Barbarella's general sluttiness. But Pygar was hottttt.

1 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 3:21 PM
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BaT Quote of the Week

"It should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door. I'll give you two."

-- Holly Golightly, "Breakfast at Tiffany's," 1961.

0 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 3:45 PM
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Popes wear white; cardinals wear red

How scared were the Soviets of forceful voices for freedom? This scared:

New documents found in the files of the former East German intelligence services confirm the 1981 assassination attempt against Pope John Paul II was ordered by the Soviet KGB and assigned to Bulgarian agents, an Italian daily said on Wednesday.

The Corriere della Sera said that the documents found by the German government indicated that the KGB ordered Bulgarian colleagues to carry out the killing, leaving the East German service known as the Stasi to coordinate the operation and cover up the traces afterwards.

Bulgaria then handed the execution of the plot to Turkish extremists, including Mehmet Ali Agca, who pulled the trigger.

Following President Reagan's death, he received widespread recognition for his role in the Soviet Union's collapse. I hope John Paul II, Margaret Thatcher and Lech Walesa are also remembered for their courage during this time, as well.

0 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 3:35 PM
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When conversations collide

Johnnie Cochran is dead. Jesse Jackson is in Florida, siding with Terri Schiavo's parents. Both of which led to this conversation in my office this afternoon.

Colleague A: Hey, did you hear Johnnie Cochran died?
Me: No, when?
Colleague A: Just a few minutes ago. But I didn't hear how.

I then call up Drudge to check the details. There it is in screaming red, Johnnie is dead. Also, a link to a story on Jesse Jackson's trip to Florida.

Me: Hey, and Jesse's in Florida on the Schiavo case.
Colleague A: It doesn't say how he died?

Colleague B walks in.

Colleague B: Jesse Jackson's dead?
Colleague A: No, Johnnie Cochran's dead.
Me: Jesse Jackson is in Florida protesting the starving girl case.
Colleague B: Oh.
Me: You know I just had this very sick thought. If we would have put a blonde wig on that poor girl and told O.J. she was sleeping with a waiter, we could have ended this Schiavo mess a long time ago. (Uproarious laughter from everyone) ... My god, what a horrible thing for me to say.
Colleague B: Yeah, but funny.
Colleague A: Possibly one of the funniest things every said in this office.
Me: I'm going to hell for that one.

Satan, party of two, please. Satan, party of two.

1 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 4:15 PM
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Truer words have never been spoken

A new blogger hits the nail directly on the head (again, no pun intended) ...

I understand that, in the past seven days, I've not introduced anything particularly ground-breaking, insightful, or deep,... and I'm okay with that. It's been fun, and I'm going to continue doing it!---I've blogged for seven days! It's my one week anniversary! (Which is at least one month in "gay dating years")

One month? I think that's a low-ball (again, no pun intended) figure. But as I enter (God, you people have filthy minds) my second week of this blog, I completely understand his point.

I'm glad I found his blog, because otherwise I would be forced to write about how I always seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time -- and drama ensues. Needless to say, if you're going to call one person a bitch ... make sure your ex-best friend isn't walking by at the same time and think you're talking about him. At least this time I wasn't the offending party, simply an innocent caught in the middle. Those are always the first to die.

0 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 8:14 PM
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Cocktail of the Week

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Because it's 5 o'clock somewhere ... I offer the stereotypical gay cocktail (no giggles, please): The Cosmopolitan.

Ingredients

Ice cubes
1 1/2 measures vodka
1 measure triple sec or Cointreau
1 dash cranberry juice*
1 lime twist**

Instructions

Fill half of your cocktail shaker with ice.
Add the vodka, triple sec (or Cointreau) and cranberry juice.

Shake sharply and strain into a well-chilled cocktail glass.

Garnish with the lime twist.

Repeat until blind.

* Adjust the amount of cranberry juice to your taste.

**If you prefer a more sour drink, add lime juice.

0 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 10:02 AM
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"The Gathering Storm"

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If you're a history buff, check out the HBO feature "The Gathering Storm." It is a compelling look at Sir Winston Churchill, not as we've seen him before in several World War II epics, but in the buildup to the British entry into what would be World War II. Albert Finney is tremendous as "the voice in the wilderness" warning of the building Nazi threat, as is Vanessa Redgrave as his wife, Clemmie.

My only major complaint with the film is that it's promoted as Churchill's life from 1934 to 1939. Yet Chamberlain's ill-fated "peace in our time" is ignored. There are a few other inaccuracies, but those are lost in the Finney's superb portrayal.

The movie is a fine commentary on how we often choose leaders who tell us what we want to hear, and ignore those who tell us what we need to hear. Yet we often cry out for the latter in times of trouble. A perfect example is the end of this particular movie, when Germany invades Poland and Chamberlain names Churchill First Lord of the Admiralty (i.e., head of the British Navy). Churchill enters his new office, and a young sailor/guard points out that the whole Navy received a transmission informing them of his "return." (Churchill had lost considerable political influence when MacDonald chose not to invite him into the Cabinet in 1931, and fell into further disfavor in his support of Edward VIII and his harsh, pre-war criticism of Hitler).

Churchill asks the young sailor what the text of the transmission. "Winston is back!" the guard tells him. Half a year later, Churchill would become prime minister, where he would -- in my opinion -- grow into the greatest statesman ever.

"We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender." -- Winston Churchill, June 4, 1940, addressing the House of Commons shortly after the British escape from Dunkirk.

God bless him. He was a great one.

0 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 3:58 PM
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BaT Quote of the Week

"We're alike, me and cat. A couple of poor nameless slobs."

-- Holly Golightly, "Breakfast at Tiffany's," 1961.

0 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 11:18 AM
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Ga$ Price$

The average cost of a gallon of gasoline has passed US$2. This reminds me of a statistic I once included in a client report. (Disclaimer: I have done work for several multinational energy companies.) I've updated the current per-gallon price, but the tax rates could have changed since last year.

Price per gallon at the pump (as of 3/22/05)
Regular: $2.095
Mid: $2.224
Premium: $2.305

Federal gasoline tax: $0.184 per gallon
Average state excise tax: $0.184 per gallon
Other state taxes: $0.072 per gallon
Total average tax: $0.44 per gallon
Product price (no taxes): $1.655 per gallon

In short, 21 percent of the cost of a gallon of gasoline comes from taxes. In 17 states, the number is higher. New York state leads the way at 58 cents in tax. Hawaii is second with 57.2, and California comes in third at 56.6. The bottom three are: Alaska (26.4), Wyoming (32.4) and New Jersey (32.9).

It would be interesting in the future to compare these tax rates with those of cigarettes. I do not hesitate, however, to assume that cigarette and gas taxes everywhere are incredibly out of proportion with other "use" taxes. Yet state and federal governments spend an incredible amount of money (through grants and agency funding) to encourage Americans to conserve fuel and not to smoke.

But with these tax rates, what would the tax coffers look like tomorrow if every American commuter started riding a bike and every smoker quit the Marlboros? In reality, governments have no real interest in drying up this revenue source. They can say, for example, that they would save health-care costs by cutting back the number of smokers. But does anyone believe you can wean the giant public health-care hogs off the teat they have become so accustomed to sucking? The minute you take one dollar away, they will scream bloody murder.

So be a patriot ... fill up that SUV and fire up another smoke. Our government is depending on it!

0 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 4:35 PM
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"The Greatest"

Let's file this one under "cultural commentary" rather than fluff. During the brief weekend downtime, I watched part of "The Greatest" series on VH1. This particular episode was the "100 Greatest Moments that Rocked TV." Number 1? Bill Clinton's 1992 saxophone-playing appearance on "The Arsenio Hall Show." I agree that then-Gov. Clinton's opening rendition of "Heartbreak Hotel," followed by his sitdown interview with Arsenio certainly was a defining moment of his campaign.

But the top moment "that rocked TV"? Ahead of Michael Jackson's electrifying Moonwalk on the Motown anniversary special (ranked No. 2) or the Beatles on "Ed Sullivan" (No. 3)? Ahead of "MTV Unplugged" featuring Nirvana shortly before Kurt Cobain's death (No. 14) or Sonny and Cher singing "I've Got You, Babe" reunion on Letterman shortly before then Congressman Bono's death (No. 20).

At least those were in the top 20. Elvis on "Ed Sullivan" -- the famous "waist-up-only" telecast came it at No. 24. Bette Midler's wonderful goodbye to Johnny Carson finished at 47th -- three places behind VH1's self-serving ranking of "Behind the Music" at 44th (a show I once watched, but ahead of Carson's farewell? C'mon). Aretha Franklin's lesson to wannabe divas finished 69th (another VH1-produced show), while Milli Vanilli's live (actually live, not the fake live) performance on Arsenio was 63rd -- six spots ahead of one of the greatest TV performances of all time. What, was Arsenio Hall one of the judges for this? But the greatness that is Cher is recognized at least three times: the duet with Sonny, her guest appearance on "Will & Grace" and the premiere of "The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour." All is not lost.

Some other notable from "The Greatest" series:

100 Hottest Hotties: Ashton Kutcher (No. 3) ahead of Johnny Depp (No. 5), Brad Pitt (No. 6), Jude Law (No. 29), Heath Ledger (No. 39), LL Cool J (No. 47) ... I believe Demi Moore took Arsenio's place on the judging committee for this one.
50 Greatest Teen Idols: Britney Spears (No. 1) ... shoot me now. Ashton Kutcher all the way back at No. 14 -- behind Michael J. Fox! So he's not even a top 10 teen idol but he's the third hottest hottie of all time?
100 Sexiest Artists: Madonna, Elvis, JoLo ... hard to argue against those three, although I'd take Prince (No. 5) over big, Puerto Rican booty. But I'm biased.
100 Greatest Songs of Rock 'n' Roll: No. 1 -- "Satisfaction," The Rolling Stones; No. 2 -- "Respect," Ms. Franklin; No. 3 -- "Stairway to Heaven," Zepplin. The whole list, really, is superb. And perhaps it says something that none of them appear to have been released after 1980 or so.
100 Greatest One-Hit Wonders: "Rico Suave" is No. 9. However, I could watch that video all day ... with the sound off.
100 Greatest Shocking Moments in Rock 'n' Roll: John Lennon's murder is at the top of the list. Cobain's death at No. 4; Marvin Gaye's murder at No. 5. In fact, someone had to be killed or groped to make it into the top six. Lipsynching Milli Vanilli ranks seventh; Jerry Lee Lewis is at 13th (one rank for each year of the cousin/child he married); Pam and Tommy's video romp took 20th. Was anyone shocked by these three moments? Milli Vanilli can't sing? No way. Jerry Lee and a cousin/child? In Ferriday, Louisiana? Get outta here. A wife gives her husband head while riding down the highway? OK, maybe that one is a shock to most married men. It's just another day in the life of us 'mos.
50 Greatest Hip-Hop Artists: Run DMC at No. 1. DMX at No. 23. I must comfort him. Perhaps Tommy and Pam's SUV is free.
100 Greatest Women of Rock 'n' Roll: Janis rank third behind Aretha (No. 1) and Tina Turner (No. 2, and everyone duck 'cause Ike ain't happy); Cher at ... gasp ... 43, behind Bjork (No. 36), k.d. lang (No. 33), Joan Jett (No. 32), Joan Baez (No. 27), Grace Slick (No. 20) and Bonnie Raitt (No. 4). Obviously, the lesbians kicked both Arsenio and Demi off the judging panel and staged a flannel coup.

That was entirely too much on this topic. Tomorrow, I'll balance it with a discussion of how China is cooling its economic jets through a series of reforms designed to prevent a Japan-like overheating. Just kidding ...

0 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 3:11 PM
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What is this all about?

Now that's a good question and an appropriate quote from Ms. Golightly over there. What will this blog be about? I suspect it will be a mixture of things: part politics, part culture, part business, part personal and part junk. For the past three years, I have moderated a popular discussion group of media professionals. I suspect some of those topics may find their way into this blog. But I have an outlet for those opinions, so I hope those will be limited here.

My profile, for the most part, speaks to my interests and what one can expect to find here. I read constantly, some for pleasure/knowledge and some for my day job. I enjoy historical biographies -- both print and film -- in particular political and military leaders: Andrew Jackson, General George Patton and Winston Churchill are three. I also dabble in conspiracy theories and paranormal activity. These are my "guilty pleasures," so to speak, because much of the "evidence" behind them are full of supposition. Yet they are fun.

Some posts may be boring to many. Discussing the global economy is a quick way to make someone click that little "X" in the upper right-hand corner. However, I come in daily contact with people all over the world, and perhaps this exposure will be of interest. If not, skip the post and move on to the "Cocktail of the Week" recipe.

And, yes, I am gay. It's a fact that's not overwhelmingly important to the blog. However, I like to be as open as possible. Besides, once I start quoting dialogue from "Sordid Lives" or referencing Anastasia Beaverhausen you would have been asking the question, "Is he a 'mo?" Let's deal with it now. Gay. Check. Man. Check. Single. Check. Dating. Eh, from time to time.

Finally, speaking of honesty, Jake McCafferty (as noted in my profile) is my nom de plume. That's the cheese-eating, surrender-monkey way of saying "pen name." I could have easily have used no name at all. But I'm fond of the nom de plume, as I've used it in the past when an employer didn't allow outside freelance work, and it's a hat-tip to my Irish heritage. Now I use it to keep some client from firing my ass over something I write. I am opinionated. I am also addicted to eating and housing.

What is this all about? Simply do not ask me, parce que je ne sais pas. But maybe one day I will.