The Trouble With Lying

Former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey's book comes out tomorrow -- two years after he himself came out amidst charges of political corruption and sexual harassment. McGreevey and his partner will also appear on "Oprah" to promote the book.

... McGreevey told Oprah Winfrey that he first bedded the man who would become a central figure in his downfall while his wife was hospitalized for the birth of their child, according to audience members who spoke to Associated Press.

The nation's first openly gay governor told Winfrey he believed he was in love with the man, said two audience members who agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity because the talk-show host asked them not to divulge the contents of the broadcast.

McGreevey said the encounter was one of countless lies and betrayals he felt compelled to perpetuate during his rise to power as a closeted gay man, according to the audience members who attended Tuesday's two-hour taping of the show in Chicago.

Your wife -- yes, your wife! -- is in the hospital giving life to your offspring and you're chasing trade? You, a twice-married father of two -- sneak around having sex in bookstores and truck stops so you can keep your precious political power? And we're supposed to feel sorry for you in some way?

I tell you who I feel sorry for ... I feel sorry for your poor wife. Maybe we can cut you break with the first marriage. A lot of gay men have been there. They think maybe they can change. They feel societal pressure to confirm. They get married and are miserable. Often, they divorce and find their true selves.

Others, however, continue to live the lie. Men like James McGreevey.

If you want to be in the closet, fine. That's your right. But don't drag some innocent woman (assuming she didn't know you were lying scum when she married you and she played along to satisfy her own lust for fame) and your children along on your fake fairy tale. Wallow in your own misery, but don't ruin other people's lives.

There was no need to remarry nor have another child ... no need to continue the lie. You had your "beard."

"Hey, I'm straight! I have an ex-wife and kid to show for it! Vote for me!"

It's not McGreevey's decades in the closet that p*sses me off so much. It's not his random sexual encounters with men, followed by unsafe sex with his wives (two kids, remember?). It's not even that his daughters will grow up knowing their father's entire public life was a lie and that, once caught sleeping (or harassing ... who knows who to believe) an aide, he resigned then sold his soul in a book deal.

No, it's the reason why he did all of those horrible, disgusting things.

He wanted to be powerful. He did what he did so he could be governor of a state best known for turnpikes and "Italian trash haulers." So before we shed any tears for James McGreevey or enshrined him in the Gay Hall of Fame, remember his motivation for his previous 47 years and his motivation in these last two.

"I knew I would have to lie for the rest of my life -- and I knew I was capable of it," McGreevey wrote. "The knowledge gave me a feeling of terrible power."

And this is a man the gay community is suppose to cheer? I'll pass.