I'll Sue You in England!

You just can't turn your back on that crazy Tommy Tooth. Apparently, I've been out of the "fruit loop" for a month, as people are now questioning whether the 4-foot-11 actor (who hasn't had a good movie since "Jerry Maguire" in 1996 -- and that is thanks to Cuba Gooding Jr!) and his much-taller, much-younger, less-weirder "fiancee" Katie Holmes even had a baby.

It's been 86 days since the birth of Suri Cruise -- and about a split-second since the latest conspiracy theory about Hollywood's most elusive baby.

New rumors surface by the hour -- that Tom and Katie are holding out for a better magazine photo deal, that Scientology is involved in the mystery, that Suri doesn't even exist!

So what has fueled the rumors? TMZ has created a timeline that may explain why Suri is becoming a national obsession.

TMZ also has some interesting photos of Katie Holmes, where her stomach appears to shrink as the pregnancy progresses. And Defamer has an entire category, "Miracle Baby," devoted to little Suri.

Selling your baby's photos when you're already a multimillionaire? Part of a cult's plot? A fake pregnancy? Good Lord. Actually, we at BaT believe there's a better explanation. In case you missed it, you'll have another chance next week. It's a must-watch.