Cocktail of the Week -- Stepford Splitsville Edition



It's Splitsville for another Stepford couple: Hero/hypocrite Lance Armstrong and useful idiot Sheryl Crow are calling it quits five months after becoming engaged:

The couple spoke to Barbara Walters last November, when Armstrong was named one of Walters' "Most Fascinating People." While showing off her six-carat diamond engagement ring, the two talked about what drew them together.

"She's hot," Lance said. "I saw that!"

But Sheryl said she just knew he was the one. "I think sometimes you meet people and they just strike such a familiar chord with you," she said. "I just thought I had known him forever."

Somehow, I'm sure they'll both survived. Lance didn't take long to find "true love" after splitting with the mother of his children (Ed.: Some people say he didn't even wait until after the split. BaT: Shhhhh, we're talking about a hero here.) And Sheryl is a star-f*cker going way back. (Ed.: We hear Richie Sambora is free.) But just in case they need some comfort, here's a little drink for them both: The Bruised Heart.

Ingredients

1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. Chambord raspberry liqueur (I'm still helping you make use of that expense bottle I told you to buy)
1/2 oz. peach schnapps
1/2 oz. cranberry juice

Instructions

Pour all ingredients over ice into a cocktail shaker, shake and strain into shot glass.

Enjoy, Lance and Sheryl. Here's hoping you'll find true love -- and make it last more than six months. Cheers!