For The Queen Who Has Everything

Tonight marks the near-end of my shopping season. I only have a few gifts left, and those are only stocking-stuffer-type items. After two weekends of travel for other Christmas-related social events, I must now focus on The Big One: Christmas Day with the family.

My strategy is to hit the mall later in the evening, once the little ones are all nestled snug in their beds -- and not screaming and crying.

But apparently, I'm low class -- at least compared to what the rich people have on their Christmas gift lists. The people at Fox have compiled a list of the five most extravagant gifts (with my comments in red):

And the winners are ...

5. For the High-End Hippie: Spiritual Lingerie's unique body chains start at $1,250 and are hand-designed to stimulate centers of spiritual energy on the body and enhance what the person needs most. (Or you could go here -- Warning: NSFW! -- and find a nice "stimulator" for less than $50.)

4. For the die-hard "Sex and the City" Fan: Jacob and Co.'s New York Skyline pendant set in 18k white gold, $8,000, is a better keepsake than a pair of Manolo Blahniks. (Are there really any "Sex and the City" fans? Here's guessing anyone who watched that show spent all their money on the above sex toy site and can't afford an $8K piece of jewelry.)

3. For the thirsty jet-setter: Krug's limited-edition champagne trunk, $45,000, features a truffle grater, mother-of-pearl caviar spoons and, of course, three bottles of Krug's finest champagne. Drink up! (How about wine-in-a-box, some plasticware and four bottles of MD 20/20?)

2. For the always-traveling CEO: Henk's $20,000 silent rolling suitcase has 22 moving parts and is made out of everything from red Italian burl to horse hair. Lest we forget, it fits in all overhead storage compartments. (So that's what happened to Mr. Ed. At least he's flying first class.)

1. And finally, the gift of all gifts: a flying car. Moeller International is selling several prototypes of their M400 Skycar for $3.5 million, also featured in the fantasy section of the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book. Though the Skycar is not meant to be driven or flown just yet, it is no doubt a collector's item, especially for the aircraft enthusiast. (It's not meant to be flown or driven? Hence the name SKY-CAR. No one said rich people weren't stupid. Case in point here.)

Frankly, I'd rather have one of these. But the odds of either being under my tree are equal: absolutely zero.

CORX: NTSF? WTF? Obviously, I meant to say NSFW (not safe for work). I'm not sure where NTSF came from or what it stands for; it has since been corrected.