Cocktail of the Week -- Please Make It Stop Edition



Please, please make it stop. For the love of all that is good, make it stop. We're begging you: Will you and your Cheeto-eating, Red Bull-drinking, barefoot-in-the-bathroom white trash wife just go away?

The dawn of Kevin Federline's hip-hop career has begun, though it remains to be seen if it will last past breakfast. A track by Federline was posted on the Internet by Disco D, the producer of his upcoming album, "The Truth," to be released next year.

Though the song has since been taken off Disco D's Web site, it has popped up elsewhere, giving a glimpse of Mr. Britney Spears' rhyming, um, abilities.

"Back then, they called me K-Fed, but you can call me Daddy instead," he intones in the chorus of "Y'all Ain't Ready."

Uh, huh, yeah, we'll call you Daddy -- along with about 20 illegitimate children you've brought into this world already. I swear, if there's a Hell for me, it will be living in a trailer with these two. It would be my worst punishment ever. Which brings us to this week's cocktail treat: The Nightmare.

Ingredients

1 1/2 oz. gin
1/2 oz. cherry brandy
1/2 oz. madeira
1 tsp. orange juice

Instructions

Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass and serve.

Careful, kiddies, maderia is fortified wine and gin is for real drunks. But you'll need both before you tune in to "Daddy" Spears. He is truly "Toxic."