Breakfast at Tiffany's – Because I Do Not Know

We Shall Name Him Damien

Surely, the End Times are upon us. Tommy Tooth and The Girl Who Is Taller Than Him are with child, according to People magazine.

Tom Cruise and his fiance, actress Katie Holmes, are expecting a baby six months into a whirlwind romance that has turned the once intensely private Cruise into a giddy and very public lover.

News of the pregnancy was first reported by People magazine on Wednesday. A statement from Cruise's publicist, his sister Lee Anne DeVette, added: "Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited." Holmes, she said, "has never felt better."

Translation: "Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast; for it is the number of a man; and his number is 666." -- The Book of Revelation Chapter 13, Verse 18

Now the burning question: Who held this?

7 comments Jake McCafferty last posted at 7:57 PM
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7 Comments:

I agree on the name wholeheartedly. But Satan is probably insulted - and I don't blame him.

As for the baster, I think John Travolta assisted. Just a guess.

By Jay Six, at 12:36 AM

Well,this explains why they're so quick to get hitched(on the Black Yacht,no less,which supports your AntiChrist theory). The thought of them breeding does make me shudder but even scary is what they'll name the kid.

Damien would actually be nice compared to Apple,Pilot Inspektor or Kal-el Coppola Cage. Just had a horrible thought-what if they name the poor kid after Tom's character in Top Gun?! Now,that's a clear sign of the apopcolypse:D

By lady t, at 8:18 AM

I'm pretty sure that he'd make Katie hold it. (Bottoms usually make others do all the work.)

*heheh*

By jason, at 11:59 AM

Jason just isn't right. He probably ain't wrong, either, though...

By Jay Six, at 2:08 PM

if travolta was helping out, then i'll bet katie is actually pregnant with that yucky yucky man's baby.

i thought she was waiting until marriage.

that unsexed slut.

By kinkyrhombus, at 5:10 PM

If there's someone who repulses me more than Tommy Tooth, it's John Travolta. Curse that damned "Pulp Fiction." We had erased him from our minds.

By Jake McCafferty, at 7:56 PM

Here, here Jake. Travolta totally didn't deserve that lead actor - poor Sam Jackson was relegated to supporting when his character was far more vital and interesting. Then again, maybe that was just the acting.

By Jay Six, at 10:09 PM