How Times Have Changed

A personal aside here, I guess, but it brings into context acceptance that we haven't always had.

I'm a mentor of sorts to a few young, gay men. I call them my "gay nephews." Typically, I offer advice on things like how to buy a car, or lease an apartment or the ordinary tasks of life on your own. Sometimes, however, there are the blunt "get-your-head-out-of-your-ass talks. These chats often end with me saying, "If you look for someone to make you happy, you will be sorely disappointed. You cannot find your happiness inside another person. They may make things pleasant and fun sometimes. But you cannot find fulfillment outside of yourself. You have to make you happy. And if someone tells you otherwise, you tell them to f*ck off."

But I digress ...

One of these young men has had a particularly rough time of late with his personal life -- both love and family. Without telling his business, Father's Day is not an easy time for him right now. We had a long conversation yesterday, which upon reflection brings up our topic for today.

Him: I'm not sure I'm gay. Maybe that was just my first experience and I was comfortable with it, so I kept doing it.
Me: If you don't want to call yourself gay, you don't have to. You are not a label. You are a person.
Him: I'm just not sure. I'm confused.
Me: That is something you will have to work out for yourself. But let me tell you one thing: I don't care if you are fat, I don't care if you never go back to school, I don't care if you decide you like p*ssy. I will love you no matter what.

Rewind 10 years ago, and replace "p*ssy" with "d*ck" and you have the typical conversation between a young gay man and a friend he is coming out to. Now, we've come so far in our acceptance of people's sexualities -- and their sense of self -- that it ... really ... is ... OK ... to ... be ... straight.